Assassins - Now Playing at BRT

Time for some shameless self-promotion. Megan and I and a dozen of our most talented compadres are currently appearing onstage at the Boiler Room Theatre in Stephen Sondheim and John Weidman's "Assassins" -- for my money, one of the most brilliant shows ever created.



Long story short, go see this show. Contains violence and adult language and dark, disturbing material. And guns. Lots and lots of guns.

UPDATE: Nashville Scene review here.

UPDATE: Nashville City Paper review here.

Photo is by Rick Malkin.

Douchebag Spotted In The Wild

This was seen at Walgreen's the other day while I was waiting for my ride, errr, chillin' with my homies.

Yo.

User Survey from T. Rex

There's Another National Anthem Playing...

But trust me, it is decidedly not the one you hear at the ballpark.

"Assassins" -- opens at the Boiler Room Theatre this Friday, April 25. Runs through May 24th. For more information on the show, check out www.boilerroomtheatre.com.

In the meantime, courtesy of Rick Malkin:

Bear Enjoys Playing With LOG

From the "Ren and Stimpy" toy collection -- it's LOG! By BLAMMO!



The original commercial:

Noisy Party - Surveillance Photo

So, just what happened at that noisy party a few weekends back? Here's basically what went down:

BING BING BING - Public Address Message

Oh boy -- the latest singsong public address message (from the speaker right over my desk) telling me all about the exciting worship service that's about to start down in the chapel. I wonder what the bedridden patients do.

Directions to Blue Moon

In honor of a conversation we had over dinner the other night, regarding the location of Blue Moon Waterfront Cafe (also the pronunciation of Camera Obscura, among other things), we'll check with the bear for directions.

Crookshanks Pictures Online

If that means anything and you're sure you want to see, then check out: http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=5173

If it doesn't mean anything to you, then never mind.

If it does mean anything to you and you're pretty sure you don't want to see, then you're right: you don't want to see.

Basically what I'm saying is twofold:

1. I'm not liable.

2. Tyler Durden (www.wwtdd.com) is the Greatest Hero In American History.

First Remote Post

Message:

Hopefully this will find its way to the blog  - this is Megan and I at the 5K for the Nashville Children's Alliance. i know it's sideways and there are caps issues - shut your hole or I'll start  charging for premium content... like all of it.

Site Update

I added an e-mail link to the posts, so -- in theory -- you should be able to use the "E-mail This Post" or somesuch link to pass along some of my devastating witticisms to friends and family. Give it a shot, and let me know what does or doesn't work.

Also, just to watch my back, and keep any easily-upset folk or maybe my Total Raging Angry Gash Neighbor at 1213 Sunnymeade from making any trouble, I added an "Adult Content" warning to the blog. Hopefully you'll only have to agree to the extra step one time.

Jackechambers.com -- Now 40% Offensiver!

Look, He's Just Being Honest

Hey -- he's just saying what we're all thinking.

East Side Fight Night: April 19 2008

So the Saturday night gathering consisted of Dan, Mike, Justin, Billy, Shane, and myself, with guest stars K-Gant and Hannah. There were two pretty fun welterweight title bouts from last weekend -- Antonio Margarito handing another loss to Kermit Cintron (Cintron's only two losses as a professional), and taking his belt in the process; and Miguel Cotto completely drinking Alfonso Gomez's milkshake -- completely dominant.

The main event was the Bernard Hopkins - Joe Calzaghe bout live from Vegas. The Welshman looked shaky in the first few rounds (it was his first-ever pro fight away from the UK), but then turned it on and dominated the last half, winning a split decision and remaining undefeated.


Also of note from the gathering: no complaints from the Angry Raging Gash next door.

In other news, Miguel Cotto is a Very. Bad. Man.

LOLCHEETAHS

Another from the "Cutest Animal Photos Ever" collection. Ghost-written by Megan.

Best Nature Photo Award Winners

So, this collection of "Best Nature Photo Award Winners" was recently forwarded along to me. Although really more accurately titled "Most Cutest Animal Pictures From The Internet Over The Last Several Years," the pictures themselves were all pretty impressive. My favorite was this one:



I think it's pretty amazing, the way the mom holds onto the baby so tightly. Nature's pretty incredible, dude.

Turned 18 Do What Now?

I'll say it: not as rich, but a hotter 18th birthday than both Olsen twins put together. Young Hermione Granger just turned 18 on Tuesday, and now has access to... oh... $20 million or so.



Also she's... ummm... probably really nice and stuff.

New T-Shirt: Penguin Chick is Cold.

Also available in long-sleeved. I'm just saying.

Hitchcock Keeps It Real, Yo.

Saw this still from "North By Northwest" (one of my all-time faves), and it made me think of some Scarface lyrics. You know how you do.

Preds Stick It In Wings

For the third game in a row, the Preds managed back-to-back goals in half a minute, which is pretty awesome. Tuesday night's game made history, since it was the first time an NHL team had gone from trailing to winning in 10 seconds. Thursday's game? More of the same. Series back to Detroit all even at 4, with the good guys apparently owning the momentum.



In other news, Scott "This one will be mercifully short" Burnside can lick me.

LOLLIONS - Number 4

Sometimes it's good to be the King. But sometimes, you don't know when your subjects are really all that into it.

Mow The Damn Lawn

toothpastefordinner.com

Whatever, dude. If I could prove to Megan that an unmowed lawn pisses off the Total Raging Gash next door, I could let it grow until it blocked out the sun. That would be sweet.

Preds Beat Down Wings

Two goals in nine seconds to totally throw the momentum in this series?



Yeah. Suck it, Maxi Pads.

LOLLIONS - Number 3

Once more, with feeling.

Neighbor Lady at 1213 Is A Total Gash

So those at the party on Saturday night have already been bored to death by this story (with the possible exception of Douglas, who was even angrier than we were, if that's possible). But our gash neighbor, whose name is not Helen, as she is in fact the daughter of Helen, came out and yelled at a group of six of us who were outside the party talking. About the terrible noise. At 10:30pm on a Saturday night. While she was still up and about. And threatened to call the police.

Here is an actual photo of the Neighbor Gash at her home, captured by Google Street View cameras, after I did a search on "Angry Raging Gash":



That is in fact a gash (a nasty head wound, in fact), not something dirty. Well, you know what I mean.

In the meantime, I'm thinking of registering the domain name neighborladyat1213sunnymeadeisatotalgash.com. I might even spell "neighbor" as "neighbour" -- nothing classes the joint up like fake British spellings.

LOLLIONS - Number 2

More fun with Nature Violence. Fun for the whole family. Enjoy!

Sports and Such

So 2/5 of the Braves starting rotation is now down with injury, so they keep scraping along. Awesome year for ESPN to pick them to win it all. rrr... But hey: as my friend Rod is fond of saying, year after year: Just Wait 'Til Hampton Gets Healthy. (That might be trademarked... I'll have to check.)

The Maxi Pads and the Officials have joined forces, WWF-style, to put our Preds in a 2-0 hole. (Luckily, Detroit IS a huge hole. Ba-dum-pssh...?) Hey, did I mention our Moral Victory just by making it to the playoffs this year?

Barca continue to lolligag through the Liga season, losing a few more points off Real Madrid for the lead. And apparently Ronaldinho has come to terms to leave FCB for [shudder] an Italian team. [gorge rising...]

Best sports story of the day, though: in another glowing article about Greg Maddux, which opens with a bullpen catcher proving that you can catch Greg Maddux blindfolded, there's this nugget about how well he works with and understands his fellow pitchers:

... When Brad Penny and Maddux were teammates on the Dodgers, during the last two months of 2006, they had a conversation one day that led Penny to reach a stunning conclusion: This guy knows my stuff better than I do. It was eerie, really, how easily Maddux dissected Penny's repertoire and suggested ways to maximize it. Penny, figuring he'd take advantage of the situation, asked Maddux to call a game for him against the Cubs. And so, on the night of Sept. 13, Penny glanced into the dugout before every delivery and found Maddux, who signaled the next pitch by looking toward different parts of the ballpark. Penny threw seven scoreless innings with no walks and beat the Cubs 6-0. "Maddux probably won't tell you that story," Penny says. He's right.

And what else? Today is his 42nd birthday. Awesome.

LOL

So Hannah Rushmore was all over me yesterday to do an LOLCATS picture for her, so I thought I'd do it up right. There are maybe now more LOLCATS pictures online than there are weeds in my yard, and yet somehow I can't help but contribute. Plus, I'm pretty sure mine is unique: I'd be almost willing to bet that none of the others features the glistening entrails of a slaughtered African herbivore. So there.



In other OH NOES news, the Predators lost a heartbreaker to the Maxi Pads last night. Dammit.

Sports and Such

The Predators hit their postseason tonight, going up against the potentially steamrolling Red Wings. The teams pretty much split the season series this year (3 regulation victories each and, I think, the same total goals scored each), but it's just real danged daunting.

The awesome bit was finding a Preds story in the Onion Sports page today:

GOALIE CLEARLY LIVING IN NET

NASHVILLE—After reporters and fans observed a number of personal belongings accumulating around the south goal in Nashville's Sommet Center, members of the Predators organization acknowledged Tuesday that goaltender Dan Ellis has been residing in the net since signing as a free agent last June.

Across the Pond, Barca finished off Schalke 04 to move to the semifinals of the Champions League, despite looking less and less like a Champion team. Eh. It is what it is. Me? I'm just in it for the scarves.

McKinley Loves, err, Loved Beef

I read it just this morning, so I figure it's almost assuredly true.

Lady Vols Win Eleventy-Hundredth Title

So the Tennessee Lady Vols, coached by Summittron The Destroyer, played the Stanford Singular Cardinal last night and basically beat them down in a thorough fashion. The best part was the Stanford coach, when asked about the UT defense at halftime:

It was so bad that when ESPN sideline reporter Rebecca Lobo asked Stanford coach Tara VanDerveer how she planned to get her team to settle down and handle the pressure better, VanDerveer said something you just never hear coaches say unless they're being sarcastic, which VanDerveer was not.

"God, Rebecca," she said, "I have no idea."

[from King Kaufman, Salon.com]

Corbin's New Bumper Sticker

So last night at rehearsal for Assassins, Corbin Green managed to cut hisself somehow (the ways of the Corbin are mysterious to us). I of course was blamed; Corbin tattled all over that place that I made him bleed, and swore he would get a bumper sticker to attest to that fact. So, I give you this:



To which I say: Get in line! (Ba-dum-pssh)

I'll be expecting to see this on his pick-up any day now.

Save Suri!

Quick -- she's broken free from her alien overlords and she's in the garden! We can save her! We must act quickly! No! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE it's... too... late...



My God, man... we could have saved her... and we let the chance just slip away...

Megan's Garden

So Megan laid in all the garden-y stuff this weekend. I had to mow. Which is similarly sweaty and dirty and difficult, but which I get to classify as a "chore" or "work" or "friggin' whatever," whereas gardening is classified as "fun." So after mowing and pruning, I got to sit back and drink beer, while she mysteriously continued her gardening. I don't get it; it seems to make her happy.

But it did provide a photo opportunity for the Garden-Living Bass-Playing Frog, a birthday present from Li'l Scottie Rice. I feel there isn't enough quality LOLFROGS material online these days; this probably won't change that.



In other news, my back hurts. Ow.

New Car!

So my baby is now officially my baby. My "baby" is actually 9 years old and has four rubber tires, but don't you judge me.



We took delivery on Saturday, and managed to run a provisions run for Redneck Martha that night. Good times.

More pictures, including without all the numbers and letters taped all over the car, as soon as possible. Probably within the next few months, surely.

Subaru Features

Mine is slightly newer. It shall also not feature a trailer hitch.


www.marriedtothesea.com

We're expecting it on Saturday morning. Cigars welcome.

Dude! We Live Here!

Google's Street View maps are available for Nashville, which is pretty kick-ass. We personally live all up in this piece:


View Larger Map

There've been some complaints about some of the pictures that have shown up on Street View maps, due to recognizable faces, fears of terrorism [Ed: WTF?!], general privacy concerns, that sort of thing. I'm personally a little hacked that our mean next-door neighbor was outside and got her picture took:

Happy Baby-Punching Day!

What does that even mean? Damned if I know. It's just something that Hannah Rushmore goes on and on about. So, in honor of BPD, which we'll call... tomorrow (remember 4/4!), I present the following, with love.

Notes From All Over [UPDATE]

So, for the quick highlights:

The Preds CLINCHED a playoff spot Thursday night with a comeback win over the Blues, accompanied by a late Vancouver loss. Next up? Oy. More Red Wings, probably. But, hey: after not knowing if they still had a team and thus losing pretty much everybody that was making more than minimum wage this past off-season, that's pretty cool.


Jack's new 6-string Banjo arrived this week, which is pretty cool. East Side Fight Night co-founder Dan will have to help with the setup, but then it will look just like this, and maybe sound even that good.

Barcelona won the first leg of their UEFA Champions League quarterfinal against Schalke 04, who are apparently German. Would getting a 2nd Champs League title in 3 years take some of the sting out of a rapidly-crapping Liga season ? Why yes, it would.



Finally, my friend Jessalyn is playing Debbie in a production of "Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical" in Michigan. Here's an awesome publicity poster: