Farewell To 2008. And Others.

Light on the posting, as I get ready for New Years. Consider me on vacation until next week, y'all.

Drive safe, have fun, Happy New Year, all that stuff.

Go Dawgs.

Peace.

Yes, Yes: The Rumors Are True!

Tom and Gisele are, indeed, engaged.

Happy Holidays, Bitches!

So, we're on the road to Charlotte (hey! hey! hey! hey!), and won't be back until next week. So I leave you in the capable hands of Dee Snider, who is sure to take good care of you while I'm gone.

PS: Yes, Pat Robertson, I said "Happy Holidays." That offend you? Blow me.

So Close... So Close...

Keep an eye on that counter over there, kids -- that's how much longer we have to wander in the desert before we start becoming a real nation again.

And hey, as long as we're going to pick someone to follow around, why not this guy? (Oh yeah -- we already did. SWEET!)

What? Want Home Field Advantage?

Why don't you drag your Mongoloid friends down here and try to take it, then?

No?

Didn't think so.

Ummm...

Okay, I'm not sure if this means that I've taken Too Much Drugs, or possibly Not Enough Drugs, but this is my new favorite commercial. I've seen it a hundred times in, umm... restaurants, so until this posting I had never heard the sound on it. But it's just basically the best commercial ever.

Other than that European one with the skydiving topless chicks, naturally...

More Letters.

One more exam down, which makes 5 out of 7 toward MCSE, and also means its very-own certification.

After all, we here at jackechambersdotcom are nothing if not secure.

Oh... So... Close...

I ain't gonna lie. I was hoping for exploding shoes. And he ducks the shoe, see, and then looks at the Iraqi guy all cocky and he's like, Ha! You missed! and then the Iraqi guy's all like, not so fast, dude, check it out, and then Bush looks behind him, and there's a blinking red light, and he's all like, Ahhh... Shi-

BOOM!

That shit would rule.

In the meantime, go check out www.superpoop.com -- the source of today's animated ohsoclose. It's from the good people who bring you ToothpasteForDinner, and NatalieDee, and MarriedToTheSea. They're funny. And they live in Ohio. And thus deserve not only our admiration, but also our pity.

'Night, Miss Page.

So beautiful, so interesting, such issues - Nashville's own Bettie Mae Page (1923 - 2008). Bettie Page died of complications from a heart attack on Thursday night.



Next time you're out on the town, kiss a rockabilly girl on the lips. Bettie would have wanted it that way.

And Now: Your Moment Of Zen.

Anyone? Anyone?

Hey -- stop me if you've already heard, but the economy is total shit right now. True story. Luckily, we have our finest minds working on this...

Now THIS Is A Border Conflict!

India and Pakistan hate each other, they always have, they think that their neighbors are infidels, they skirmish and outright war over disputed territory... they're a lot like SEC schools, in fact. But for reasons best known to themselves, they also have their border guards do ritual dances. Or something like that.

I'm not sure if "Ministry of Silly Walks" is the most impressive-looking way to boast of your superiority over your sworn enemy. I can only hope that they're dancing to Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" in this picture...

Do You Really Want To Hurt Him?

What's that you say? Suicide bombers and child-killin' and global warming and Georgia Reublicans not scary enough for you? You need something even SCARIER?

Try this one on for size:

Eh. Details.

Look, I don't believe in the Biblical claim of your forefathers, and your legal ownership of the land came only after it was quartered away from the people who were already living there. So, between that, and the fact that your own government has ordered you to vacate, and you're only sticking around out of holy spite? Um... yeah. Not so much with the sympathy.

Shit. There goes any chance in the world I ever had for elected office.

Dude, That Place Is A Fucking Mess. Seriously.

But hey, I can sure see why all the believers want to fight over it...

Which is to say, no, actually, I can't...

Goddammit, WKRN, You Take That Back. [UPDATED]

I should sue. For slander. Or libel. Whichever.




UPDATE: First they lie, then they put up a video with shitty code that doesn't seem to work. If you're up for a medium-sized chuckle, go to:

http://www.wkrn.com/Global/story.asp?S=9431597&nav=menu5_4_1

and click on the video link "Fans weigh in on Kiffin as UT's new head coach"

Then, for extra fun, do a Google Image Search for Kiffin's wife Layla. (Or just browse over to www.iwoulddolaylakiffin.com. I'm not even kidding.)

So... How's Everybody's Winter So Far?

Probably not as harsh as it is in Siberia, would be my guess.

Unless you live in Buffalo. That shit is just nasty.

Also, Because They Passed Prop 8.

And they wonder why that state gets punished so damn hard...

Yeah... Umm... The Terror...

So our Chief Execu-douche is on his way out of office, approximately 8 years too late. And he's got nothing for the crumbling economy, but plenty of folks left to send off to his unholy Holy War. Don't worry. I'm sure history will be kind...