So Close... So Close...

Keep an eye on that counter over there, kids -- that's how much longer we have to wander in the desert before we start becoming a real nation again.

And hey, as long as we're going to pick someone to follow around, why not this guy? (Oh yeah -- we already did. SWEET!)

And Then, We Rested.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

To the majority of U.S. citizens who made the heretofore unimaginable choice, thank you. To all the first-time voters, thank you. To all the volunteers, thank you.

And to all those from the other side who have been gracious in defeat and promise to look ahead in a spirit of cooperation, thank you.

To the rest of you? Get fucked.



jackechambersdotcom will go dark for the next 2 1/2 weeks. A couple days of rest, and then I'm off to 14 straight days of work-training -- 7 days a week, every waking hour, for two weeks. I'll be back here with something doubtlessly offensive come November 24th. While I'm gone, please enjoy the archives. And tell those strong-stomached friends of yours about us, so that we can manage more than, say 8 visits a day.

And? Cheers.

And? Thank you.

A Shocking Endorsement.

To John From Vulture:

Hey. We had some good times together, right? Picking over the mutilated carcass of your former self-respect, dignity, and integrity, and selling whatever was left over to the GOP Fascist Machine? Yeah, I know: good, good times. But it's juuuuust about over, dude.

Ah... Optimism...

So Big John McCain continues to have faith in the Democratic Process, which at this point can only be explained by senility, painkillers, and the unshakeable belief that Karl Rove is going to somehow figure out how to once again thwart said Process. Whatever it is, I'm going to be pretty sad if there's not at least one more Patented John McCain Krazy Kook Meltdown between now and next Tuesday...

Crazy Tracy - Ow My Brain!

Crazy Tracy needs no introduction from the likes of me, and probably not from the likes of you.

Errr... enjoy...?



From "Now on PBS," forwarded by Hannah. Yikes.

Running Late... Too Many Cables...

It's a big, convoluted world we live in. If only we could safely rely on someone whose worldview seems to have been formed completely in a dirt pit 35 years ago, and who is proud of never having sent an e-mail.

Yeah... that would be awesome...

Ah Yes. The Give And Take Of Quality Debate.

Kids, barring an anti-miracle, it's all over but the shouting. And nowhere was that more obvious than in the last debate, which included such favorites as: We need to concentrate on what's important for our country right now! Like whether that guy that lives in that neighborhood was a terrorist, and how that makes Obama a terrorist!

Or my favorite: The people at McCain-Palin rallies do not say hateful things, and are great and patriotic Americans. Video and audio evidence notwithstanding.

It's 'Bout To Get Nasty Up In This Piece.

By special suggestion from Hannah Rushmore, I present the Obama campaign's threat to the McCain camp, which I suggest is not taken lightly...

The Year John McCain Jumped The Shark.

No one gets to use the term "Maverick" any more, unless either:

1. Referring to the Tom Cruise character in "Top Gun,"

2. Referring to the James Garner TV Western,

3. Speaking entirely ironically.

More Of The Same... More Of The Same...

Hey, it's a lazy week here, and if it's working for John "Did I Mention That I Was In A POW Camp? Because I Was" McCain, it'll work for me. I'm a Maverick! Whooo!

"Maverick." Right.

"But... he's a Maverick, see..." Thus the mantra of Sarah Palin's desperately stupid time-wasting fake answer when pressed by Katie Couric (!) to explain how a candidate who had spent his entire career pushing for deregulation was suddenly a regulatory champion. Sides with Bush on over 90% of all votes for the last 8 years? Changed his stance on every meaningful issue in order to court the GOP/Fundamentalist base? Named a running mate with no qualifications, just to re-assure said Fundamentalists? Adopted not only the same campaign strategies, but the same campaign personnel that he decried as "evil" and "intolerant" just two campaigns ago?

Right. Maverick.

It's A "Post" About "Politics."

First, John McCain admitted that he wasn't an expert on economics. Fair enough. But after saying some dumb things about economics, he was pressed on that admission, which he then denied. Vehemently.

And yet, every quotation from his piehole is like a footnote to that earlier one. So he'll be concentrating on foreign policy. As long as he can figure out where Spain is, that is...

Sarah Palin Week, Part 5

Sarah Palin Week, Part 4

Sarah Palin Week, Part 3

Sarah Palin Week, Part 2

Welcome To Sarah Palin Week!

C'mon, Sarah. Bring that shit on. Thinks she's the one that killed the "Bridge to Nowhere"? Thinks it's reasonable to pursue the banning of books from libraries based on her own personal squeamishness, and then seeks to fire the librarian who won't make it happen? Thinks she's a more knowledgable person about the facts of life than, oh, geneticists, OB-GYNs, teachers? Thinks she's a fucking poster girl for friends of special needs children while she fights tooth and nail against the research that could make their lives bearable? Lady, I would shred you in an in-person debate while drunk and blindfolded; I hope Joe Biden leaves no evidence you were ever there.



So. Where was I? Oh, yeah: Welcome to Sarah Palin Week!

Get Used To It.

Every day, nay, even more often, I read stupid shit from barely-evolved dipshits that makes my political convictions, particularly vis-a-vis the upcoming Presidential election, clearer and firmer. Like transparent aluminum. That's how firm and clear things are.

Naturally, I'll share more as we get closer, and all six of you will no doubt be swayed by my dazzling rhetoric, well-thought-out logic, and pretty pictures. Plus my vulgarity -- never underestimate the power of my vulgarity.

Why is Sarah Palin on the ticket? Because she's in favor of drilling anything that will stand still longer than 2 seconds, and because she's hot. End of story. Now, on to more substantive issues, John.

Got any? Didn't think so.

In Dick Morris' Defense... He *Is* A Dick.

Maybe my most favoritest Daily Show moment in memory. Sometimes, when the ducks line up just right... and they stand so very still... and you and your shotgun are so very close...