Nice Stadium. For Us To Take A Poop On.

I was reading an article last week about how the term "rape" was getting devalued to mean any kind of victory, and how that was bad, and yet there's really no other way to describe what my beloved blaugrana did to Real Madrid right there in front of their own family members. For those keeping score (and that's probably just me), Barca's 6 goals were the most scored by a visitor since 1950. Ka. Bam. And no matter what happens Wednesday, Chelsea still sucks.



PS: Confidential to "Lane." Yes, it's sports. It is what it is. ;)

No More Facebook Quizzes. Ever. After This One.

I'm sorry, but I just don't care "Which Variety of Cap'n Crunch Are You?", okay? (Answer: Original. Duh.)

It's Either This, Or Something About My Gash Neighbor.

But I will just say that Baby-Punching Day, which is Saturday, is in danger of getting replaced by "Punching-My-Gashy-Ass-Neighbor-In-Her-Goddamn-Gash-Face Day." Just saying.

Itz A Dulimma LOL.

Best. Penguins. EVAR.

Superpoop is a photo comic by Drew, creator of Toothpaste for Dinner and other amazingness.

Like the below, quite simply the most amazingawesome thing ever, at least other than the news that our back deck project is actually going to happen.

Please to enjoy:

Remind You Of Anyone?

No, not really, because here the cat is just silently judging, not angrily denouncing. Still: did I mention that my neighbor-lady is a total gash? Because she is, you know.



Thanks to Auntie Em for the pass-along!

Marry Me A Few More Times.

Just a reminder that the GroundWorks / Boiler Room co-production of "Marry Me a Little" continues at the Darkhorse Theater through Saturday, March 21. You should probably come see it. All's I'm sayin.

Again With The Coffee? Yes, Again.

If Anyone Needs Me, I'll Be In My "Branch Office."

Go. See. Discuss.

See these lovely people below? That's my better half Megan Murphy and our other third Mike Baum. They're in "Marry Me a Little," which opens March 10, which is... umm... tonight. 5 shows at the Boiler Room Theatre in Franklin, then 4 nights at the Darkhorse Theater in Nashville. All the details at www.groundworkstheatre.com. Please go see this show, and keep us all off the breadlines.

Today's Computer Game.

From the enterprising time-wasting folks who inhabit facebook (ahem)... an almost-automated process to put together your new band and first album!

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations" or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use PhotoShop or similar to put it all together.

And if you're lucky, you might get this:

Yes. And Make It A Double.

Dude. Bring on Happy Hour.

Up-to-Date Bumper Stickers.

I can't decide whether the lady that drives this car is a raging dipshit or just seriously behind on her Fox News. Or possibly both. And there's always the possibility that she's just all retro-y, like the hipsters that populate East Nashville. After all, the two main stickers would seem to be all circa-2008-ish -- before Barack Obama was The President of the United States of America, and back when the Bush Administration all but nationalized the banking industry.

There's also the possibility that she should check out the Intrawebs. I've included a handy link, below.



PS: I saw this lady get out the car today. I swear to you -- Kathy Bates in "Misery."

PPS: Remember when even disagreeing with the President meant you were a Godless Traitor who hated America? Where does "refusing to acknowledge the sworn Commander in Chief" rank on that scale?

PPPS: Fuck George Bush.

Happy Valentimes!

[courtesy Natalie Dee -- nataliedee.com]

It's A Stressful Time. Don't Make It Worse.

Just sayin.



Thanks to Auntie Em for the pic. Fight The Power.

Ah Yes: The Master Of The Video Conference.

Given Senator Bill Frist's... err... spotty record with videoconferencing, you'd think that he and his handlers would do everything possible to keep him away from webcams, at least in public. And in that, you would of course be mistaken.

The Vanderbilt University home page shows a rotating series of pictures and links about new and exciting things that are going on around the campus, everything from real-live researchers working to make the world a better place to stylish students absorbing the "Vanderbilt Atmosphere" (tm) to disgraced public figures who have jettisoned any medical credibility they ever had taking part in public relations events in an attempt to stay relevant.

Buy. This. Album.

Dammit.

Melinda Doolittle's record has finally "dropped," according to all the "dope" "homeys" who keep me updated with such news. I downloaded mine from Amazon yesterday. Very cool old-school soul/R&B thrown all up in that piece. Worth it for the throwback album cover all by itself, kids.

You can order the real-live physical CD (and other swag) from melindadoolittle.com, or jump straight to the Amazon download page. See how helpful I am?

To-Do List.

After you finish snacking, go over to www.groundworkstheatre.com and check out the details on "Marry Me a Little," which opens March 10, and will run for a week at the Boiler Room Theatre in Franklin and a week at the Darkhorse Theater in Nashville.

Cheap and easy. Just like... you guessed it...

Something Else That Is Cool.

So, if you're going to be covering a historic-type Inauguration event, might as well document it in a historic-type way, right? Photographer David Bergman took his Canon G10 digital camera -- itself no slouch -- and hooked it up to a device called the Gigapan, which basically automates the process of making manymanymany quick photos of everything in sight, so that you can use software to stitch those manymanymany snaps into one ginormous panoramic shot. The result?

My final photo is made up of 220 Canon G10 images and the file is 59,783 X 24,658 pixels or 1,474 megapixels. It took more than six and a half hours for the Gigapan software to put together all of the images on my Macbook Pro and the completed TIF file is almost 2 gigabytes.

Oh, snap.

What's particularly fun is the timing on this one, as Obama speechifies, Clarence Thomas nods off at early nap-time (no references in the speech to pubic hair, I suppose), and Regime Change Victim GWB makes an unpleasantly sour face. I know. I was shocked, myself.



Go check out the photo on Bergman's site to see a pan-and-scan-able version that you can zoom in on, or even order a print of. Whoa.

Boo!

You know what's stupid and silly and inevitably pointless, and yet still awesome?

The fact that your mom just won't. stop. calling. me.

Also?

"My Bloody Valentine 3-D" -- easily the best 3-D horror movie of the year so far. Basically everything you need in trashy, exploitative horror movies -- plus in 3-D. Really, you can't go wrong.

And on the horizon? Almost-assuredly crappy and yet gruesome remakes of "Friday the 13th" and "Last House on the Left." Crazy world, yo.