Megan And Clyde: A Jack Chambers Joint.

Our story begins on the couch. And ends in the same place, shortly thereafter.



fin.

So... What Did You Major In At School?

So, a couple weeks back (July 5th?) there was a PPV UFC event that featured, among other things, the dethroning of a champion fighter, a girlfight, and the absolute facial devastation administered to Chris Lytle, seen below. It's hard enough to come to the realization in other vocations that maybe it's just not for you -- I wonder how hard it is when you're basically bleeding out on a televised event? Ouch.

Noisy. Fucking. Peacock.

So we're all tucked in and asleep and minding our own business at Still Waters Resort, near Branson, Missouri. It's the one morning we should be able to sleep in... until we hear what sounds like Curly from the Three Stooges operating a duck call. There are ducks and geese wandering freely on the grounds, so our immediate, yet foggy assumption is that other family members are taunting these birds. Turns out? Not so much. There are two peacocks doing their cock-a-doodle-whatever on the roof -- one directly above our bedroom, one ten feet away on the next building roof.

Vacation Postcard.

Back from vacation, getting ready for a no-doubt tortuous work day. Here's your vacation postcard, courtesy of marriedtothesea.com:

Sheep On Top, Unlike Where I Grew Up.

Megan and I head out tonight for some quality Branson time and a big Dill Family Reunion, so jackechambers.com goes on vacation with us.

In the meantime, a little something more lighthearted:



Funny aside: According to MSNBC Photos of the Week (from whence I steal quite a few images for, errr, satirical use), this event was called the "Mutton Busters" ride. Which was also the subtitle of my first honeymoon video. Ba. Dum. PSHH.

War Is Not The Answer. Duh.

So Thursday night, Megan and I were listening to some absolutely outstanding music at the Ryman. It was just about perfect, except for the moment of pandering to the audience. A musician told a story about meeting "a young man in uniform" going to his 4th tour of duty and asking him, "Why are you over there?" And the soldier said, "I'm fighting to protect your freedom."

Even ignoring the fact that this is utter and complete nonsense, since that war has absolutely zero to do with us or our freedoms, what was extra mind-boggling was that it seemed to both of them (and to quite a few of the folks in attendance" a perfectly justifiable and reasonable answer. Sometimes, I gotta tell ya, I feel pretty lost.

Two To The One...

... from the one to the three...

Hey, me 'n' Nate Dogg like what we like, know what I'm sayin?

New Secret Weapon Unleashed In Pamplona.

Another Festival of San Fermin, famous for the Running of the Bulls, has come to a close. No deaths yet again (San Fermin is Fatality-Free Ever Since Jack Was There!), but a handful of good injuries.

Next year, though, those runners are toast -- look what's gunning for them:

The First Honest Rationale For The War.

Thomas Friedman is shocked -- shocked -- to learn that America is not going to win Most Popular this year. Maybe he should go back and re-read some of his own words from 5 years ago, when he said that we had invaded Iraq after 9/11 because... well... who was going to stop us?

Oy. Ladies and gentleman -- the justification, straight from the horse's ass.

Again, The Whole World Prays As One.

Ah, Election Season. Note how I withhold from making comparisons between third-rate banana republics and demagogerous madmen holding political power through fear and ignorance... and other countries. Kind of.

New Expeditions Are Here!

Energy Policy, Schmenergy Schmolicy. Is Dodge really guaranteeing cheap(er) gas to get you to buy a new SUV, when what we really need to do is send all the SUVs to a foundry and slag them into building materials and use the white-hot flames of their demise to fuel thermal converters? Let's run out to Tashi station and get those converters, shall we?

Back To The Way Nature Intended.

Hey oh wow, did you see that brave brave horse who ran and ran even though tragically wounded, even when they tried to stop him? No? Oh, yeah, that's right -- because such a thing has never happened.

This is late, but in the long, complicated trail that goes from magic to the intrawebs, it got missed from its originally-scheduled posting date. Hey -- they can't all be fresh, folks.

Jesse's New Campaign.

In following up on the news that Jesse Helms had moved to a new district, comes word that he's recycling one of his old campaign slogans:

To Borrow A "Breakfast Club" Line...

I know. I know. It's just too easy. It's not sporting. I agree. But this herd's not thinning itself out -- so somebody's got to pick up the shotgun...

Trail Update: 2008

So a few weeks back Mom and I made our annual pilgrimage to North Georgia to some hiking and camping (we've been going to Unicoi and Helen since I was 5), and the 16 miles covered on this trip was special, as it meant that she has now hiked all 79 miles of AT in Georgia. Awesome!

Of course, one year she went and did two days without me, so I haven't done all the miles that she has. Which just goes to show that I should have been left to the apes, like Tarzan. Then I could just swing on the vines and cover many more miles. Hmmph.



(Link to my photo album from this trip.)

Cockney Accent Almost As Good As Dick Van Dyke's.

From the Onion News Network:


High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds

Another Reason To Love The Fourth Of July.

Jesse Helms died at approximately 1:15am on July 4 2008. Condolences to his family and all, but otherwise, fuck him:

-- "White people, wake up before it is too late. Do you want Negroes working beside you, your wife and your daughters, in your mills and factories? Frank Graham favors mingling of the races." (1950, working on Willis Smith's U. S. Senate campaign)

-- "The Negro cannot count forever on the kind of restraint that's thus far left him free to clog the streets, disrupt traffic, and interfere with other men's rights." (1963, commenting on Civil Rights protests)

-- "Crime rates and irresponsibility among Negroes are a fact of life which must be faced." (1963)

-- "Vote for Helms - He's One of Us!" (1972 campaign slogan for U. S. Senate, running against Greek-American Nick Galifianakis)

-- opposed Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday on grounds that MLK had two associates who were Communists (1983)

-- "All I know, is that D'Aubuisson is a free enterprise man and deeply religious." (1983, when presented with evidence of Roberto D'Aubuisson's leadership of El Salvadoran death squads which frequently targeted civilians)

-- "There is not one single case of AIDS in this country that cannot be traced in origin to sodomy." (1988, in opposition to government-funded AIDS research and treatment)

-- stated that AIDS sufferers were responsible for their own condition due to their "deliberate, disgusting, revolting conduct" (1995)

So... yeah. Roast in Hell, you vicious bastard. The world is a better place today.

Dear Diary.

"Today I decided to prove that even total douchebags could hike on the Appalachian Trail. And put it all in writing."



What really pisses me off about this (other than the rampant stupidity, obnoxious behavior, and borderline illiteracy) is that Mom and I totally called dibs on the name "Team Shocker."

If you're into this sort of thing, there are lots of decidedly non-douchetastic photos from the trip here and here.

I'm off to Atlanta for the weekend. Might sent pix via PhoneCamera thingy. Might not. Cheers, and Happy 4th!

Might Want To Grab A Coat.

Shit. Again.

UGA VI: 1999-2008

The only UGA I ever got to meet in person, when I got this picture. Condolences to the Seiler family, who breed the pure-white English Bulldogs for the University of Georgia. Awesome dog.